The boy who has moved on
“Stop that dude, I am already over her” he snapped. This was not the first time we were having this conversation regarding her neither it was the first time he telling me to stop such matters. In fact she used to be in our conversations most of the times we spoke to each other. No matter on what topic we started, I would imply my every sentence, every meaning to her and he responded the same that he was already over her and he had moved on.
Two years back, a new sunshine, a new ray of hope. The first rays of sun hit the dewdrops on the newly emerged leaf and emitted a beautiful colored lights like it was giving a life to that new leaf. The first day of new phase of a career, a well dressed man in his late teens, fitting shirt, well ironed pant, blue glittering tie and a blazer wrapped around that shirt. Surely he stole the charm. A large medical school where he saw his dreams turning reality, he saw himself with a stethoscope around his neck , a white apron in his body, a boy nurturing himself to be a man of his desires. His black leathered shoes making the sound against the smooth marble tiles as he climbed upwards the stairs and stood humbly at the door of the room that had “first year” inscribed in a golden yellow colored plate.
He entered the room half full, found a corner empty bench and helped himself sit. Gradually the class got full with some places left to sit. “I guess this is it, they shall be my colleagues for next five years” he said to himself. Five minutes for his first class to start, a girl rushed into the room, started having a gander for seat and stood near him. “This is not reserved for any of your friends, is it?” she said. “Make yourself comfortable” he replied.
“Thank You.”
That day changed everything. Never in his lifetime he had had such a good impact of anyone before. He felt helpless against the magic of hers. Without any of her magical spells he felt himself flying in that air, entangled in that hair that flew every time the air hit her face. Her face brighter than the beautiful sky , flawless as the snow and serene as the deep sea. The first look of her eyes, the black eyebrow which held different blends of eyeshades that intensified the picturesque of her vision. The bold, large and beautiful eyes had so much of depths, he just wanted to dive into that and never come out of it, ever. Her every body parts ; her short nose, her chubby cheeks, her small fingers is/was beautiful. He still quotes it “I find her eyes still the same.”
How fast a man changes, how fast the values he has been following changes, his philosophy of way of living changes. How a man who never believed in love and quoted relationship as relationshit describes the way he felt in love with her at the first look. Always refused the proposal of going to the theatre to watch a love story, but today cries over a film just because the girl had a hole in a heart or a boy could not shag his girlfriend because his car crashed a day before engagement. Never understood the melodies of the song and chose Eminem and lil wayne but today finds himself in the corner with the tune of narayan gopal. “nasodha malai kaha dukhcha ghau(don’t ask me where my wound hurts)” “jhareko paat jasto vo ujaad mero jindagi”(my life is synonomous to the faded leaves). The fucking wound hurts around the periphery of the wound, as simple as it is, don’t try to make that complex.
Almost thousand days to that day when she first asked him for a sit, they had made a bond, strengthened their relationship to a certain level. The relationship (not in a relationship type of relationship) had everything they could ask for; she told him about every new clothes she bought, about the girl she hated and the crush she changed and in exchange he told her about every girls he hit on, every chat history he showed, each secrets he had hold within him was no longer secrets to her. They would hug everything out and share the arms to cheer and shoulders to cry on. The owner of The owner of every panipuri, chatpat stalls knew them by their name asked where the other was in case either of them was missing. They had this special kind of bond. They never got tired talking each other and about each other.
Relationship ? No I would say. He had always wanted one but she had stuck that friendship to that level that could not have proceeded further. Fights? Everyday as far as I have known and as far as the talk of relationship was concerned. She would ask him to go for shopping or some fancy restaurant to eat dinner and he would reply with a sarcastic tone ,“ go with your boyfriend” and she said “ but don’t I have any”. He replied with “then make me one” and they both laughed and went to dinner or movie or shopping or whatever place she had asked him to go with. He wanted more out of that relationship but she refused.
In those past years there was nothing they did not know about each other, no place around that valley where they did not go, no movies she went without him, no crushes that she did not show him, no shopping places where they did not carry each other’s bag. BUT that was not what he wanted out of the relationship, he wanted to hold her hands and feel that, he wanted to see the love and emotions in her eyes but may be he had realized it was not going to happen any time soon or late, may be he had realized the wait was no worth , may be he had realized the wait was like waiting “the ship at the airport.” He was equally important to her as she was to him but the relationship of the present that connected them today had no future because the aspects of relationship they wanted was two sides of a same coin. Too near but too far, connected but still disconnected.
The things have moved on, the person they were once still the same but the relationship they once share have changed. The big medical college , the marble tiles and the stairs are still the same but the room that had once golden yellow inscription of first year has changed to third year. The desks and benches are same but the places where they sat changed, the eyes are same but the look they shared changed. The shopping places, the dining restaurants , the movie theatres are same but the person they go with have changed. The chat boxes where there somedays were myriad of texts are now nihil. The relationship that was exposed proudly is now veiled under the uncertainty.
He says he has moved on. The texts have moved on from one girl to another, the hand he held has moved on to different people, the expression of the love and emotions through that innocent eyes has shifted. Has he moved his heart? I cannot defy the natural laws of science by saying he has moved his heart, as a science student I am completely aware of the fact that the only function of the freaking heart is pumping the blood out of its atrium and ventricle . So I cannot have my knowledge in science questioned by expressing a paradox of “giving/taking /shifting heart. But has he really shifted his feelings from her? I don’t know, but one thing I know of is that the feelings will cause an embolism into his heart and he will suffocate till he dies. But even today when I talk about her he says “stop that dude, I have moved on”. May be he has moved on. May be he is the boy who has moved on.
Two years back, a new sunshine, a new ray of hope. The first rays of sun hit the dewdrops on the newly emerged leaf and emitted a beautiful colored lights like it was giving a life to that new leaf. The first day of new phase of a career, a well dressed man in his late teens, fitting shirt, well ironed pant, blue glittering tie and a blazer wrapped around that shirt. Surely he stole the charm. A large medical school where he saw his dreams turning reality, he saw himself with a stethoscope around his neck , a white apron in his body, a boy nurturing himself to be a man of his desires. His black leathered shoes making the sound against the smooth marble tiles as he climbed upwards the stairs and stood humbly at the door of the room that had “first year” inscribed in a golden yellow colored plate.
He entered the room half full, found a corner empty bench and helped himself sit. Gradually the class got full with some places left to sit. “I guess this is it, they shall be my colleagues for next five years” he said to himself. Five minutes for his first class to start, a girl rushed into the room, started having a gander for seat and stood near him. “This is not reserved for any of your friends, is it?” she said. “Make yourself comfortable” he replied.
“Thank You.”
That day changed everything. Never in his lifetime he had had such a good impact of anyone before. He felt helpless against the magic of hers. Without any of her magical spells he felt himself flying in that air, entangled in that hair that flew every time the air hit her face. Her face brighter than the beautiful sky , flawless as the snow and serene as the deep sea. The first look of her eyes, the black eyebrow which held different blends of eyeshades that intensified the picturesque of her vision. The bold, large and beautiful eyes had so much of depths, he just wanted to dive into that and never come out of it, ever. Her every body parts ; her short nose, her chubby cheeks, her small fingers is/was beautiful. He still quotes it “I find her eyes still the same.”
How fast a man changes, how fast the values he has been following changes, his philosophy of way of living changes. How a man who never believed in love and quoted relationship as relationshit describes the way he felt in love with her at the first look. Always refused the proposal of going to the theatre to watch a love story, but today cries over a film just because the girl had a hole in a heart or a boy could not shag his girlfriend because his car crashed a day before engagement. Never understood the melodies of the song and chose Eminem and lil wayne but today finds himself in the corner with the tune of narayan gopal. “nasodha malai kaha dukhcha ghau(don’t ask me where my wound hurts)” “jhareko paat jasto vo ujaad mero jindagi”(my life is synonomous to the faded leaves). The fucking wound hurts around the periphery of the wound, as simple as it is, don’t try to make that complex.
Almost thousand days to that day when she first asked him for a sit, they had made a bond, strengthened their relationship to a certain level. The relationship (not in a relationship type of relationship) had everything they could ask for; she told him about every new clothes she bought, about the girl she hated and the crush she changed and in exchange he told her about every girls he hit on, every chat history he showed, each secrets he had hold within him was no longer secrets to her. They would hug everything out and share the arms to cheer and shoulders to cry on. The owner of The owner of every panipuri, chatpat stalls knew them by their name asked where the other was in case either of them was missing. They had this special kind of bond. They never got tired talking each other and about each other.
Relationship ? No I would say. He had always wanted one but she had stuck that friendship to that level that could not have proceeded further. Fights? Everyday as far as I have known and as far as the talk of relationship was concerned. She would ask him to go for shopping or some fancy restaurant to eat dinner and he would reply with a sarcastic tone ,“ go with your boyfriend” and she said “ but don’t I have any”. He replied with “then make me one” and they both laughed and went to dinner or movie or shopping or whatever place she had asked him to go with. He wanted more out of that relationship but she refused.
In those past years there was nothing they did not know about each other, no place around that valley where they did not go, no movies she went without him, no crushes that she did not show him, no shopping places where they did not carry each other’s bag. BUT that was not what he wanted out of the relationship, he wanted to hold her hands and feel that, he wanted to see the love and emotions in her eyes but may be he had realized it was not going to happen any time soon or late, may be he had realized the wait was no worth , may be he had realized the wait was like waiting “the ship at the airport.” He was equally important to her as she was to him but the relationship of the present that connected them today had no future because the aspects of relationship they wanted was two sides of a same coin. Too near but too far, connected but still disconnected.
The things have moved on, the person they were once still the same but the relationship they once share have changed. The big medical college , the marble tiles and the stairs are still the same but the room that had once golden yellow inscription of first year has changed to third year. The desks and benches are same but the places where they sat changed, the eyes are same but the look they shared changed. The shopping places, the dining restaurants , the movie theatres are same but the person they go with have changed. The chat boxes where there somedays were myriad of texts are now nihil. The relationship that was exposed proudly is now veiled under the uncertainty.
He says he has moved on. The texts have moved on from one girl to another, the hand he held has moved on to different people, the expression of the love and emotions through that innocent eyes has shifted. Has he moved his heart? I cannot defy the natural laws of science by saying he has moved his heart, as a science student I am completely aware of the fact that the only function of the freaking heart is pumping the blood out of its atrium and ventricle . So I cannot have my knowledge in science questioned by expressing a paradox of “giving/taking /shifting heart. But has he really shifted his feelings from her? I don’t know, but one thing I know of is that the feelings will cause an embolism into his heart and he will suffocate till he dies. But even today when I talk about her he says “stop that dude, I have moved on”. May be he has moved on. May be he is the boy who has moved on.
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